Love bug.

Let me explain.
Let me explain this picture up above, see that yellow journal, the one next to the obnoxious white porcelain pine cone.

Yes that one.

The first time I saw this journal on a shelf, it was in a quaint bookstore on one of the most bustling streets in Marquette, MI (really one of the only). I feel in love...we fell in love. I told my dad I needed it, like most 14 year olds do, he said 'not today' I turned around and came to terms with his decision.

Later that day,  I walked into my room and on my bed was the untouched beautiful journal that I had met in the bookstore. That is when our love affair started. We spent the defining years of my life together and on it's pages it contains some of the best times of my life, with that of course it also contains some of the worst. Inside of those two hard covers was my first heart break, my biggest secrets, my biggest decisions, and my unforgettable moments. The most important thing it holds was a promise God and I made with each other.

You see, I promised Him that I would never commit to someone until I knew he was the one, you know... 'The One'. Gods promise was that He would bring me someone who would lead me, love me, and best of all, be my best friend...forever. So I kept my promise to God. Like usual, I stumbled here and there but I did the best I could. God ever so graceful, as He always is, kept his promise so beautiful and pristine.

On July 11, 2014 I married my best friend.

He is tall.
His skin is made of caramel.
His eyes are my paradise.
I like to call him Love bug.

When we moved in to our cozy apartment, I put it Gods promise on the shelf, so I can always see it but more importantly so I can always remember.
I love you.

Childs Play

Tonight a miracle happened. .. Well a miracle for Southern California.

It was thunder and lightning.

I looked outside and saw the rain falling like spears that were mad at the ground. It reminded me of when I was a child. Then I slipped back, I was six years old.

I remember the trees and the smell of must and humidity, the sky looked angry and the trees looked thirsty. There was always that first drop

d

r

o

p


Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. Rain.

I loved it, it made the trees sing with vibrant colors and the grass came to life. That was always my inspiration. Nature. The way it changed, the way it would be summer so hot you couldn't breath and then winter so long you forgot what grass looked like. I remember getting lost in my thoughts so deep that I would hear music in my head as if I was a composer and my life was the soundtrack.

I miss those times.

Creativity was always at my fingertips, and a new idea was always around the corner. They say, as you get older, you have to find inspiration in whatever your surroundings are. You have to go out there and you have to look for it.

 I'm still trying to find mine.

A New Start

It has been 735 days since I've spoken my meaningful words into a cyber void.
In 735 days life has taken me so far from where I have been, I'd almost forgotten.
the pain
the ache
the wait

the faith

The faith it took to get me here. Where I am.

I remember nights of sleeplessness because of my worry, my doubts and my fears. I remember days of longing and wonder, the thought of 'What if'.

But enough of talking in code.

Let me share with you where I was and now where I am.

Two years ago, almost to the day I didn't have a stable job. I had no stable income, but I had a heart full of passion and a mind full of determination. I was ready to go wherever it was God called me. I didn't know what to do at the time, but then one day I figured it out. After 11 months of long suffering, after multiple door slams to the face, there was one that cracked open enough to see who was standing on the other side, and it was me.

I started from the bottom of the food chain like most newbies do. I worked long hours to pay rent and also to gain experience, my brain was an empty book awaiting knowledgeable words to fill it. After a short period of time, I landed a job, one I had dreamed about.

There were short joyful words.

Then there were joyful tears.

I walked into a land of new faces, new rules and new beginnings.

I was in a land called Bliss. I had never felt more blessed than in that moment when I walked through the very secure double doors into the mystery that was the 'Third Floor'. I learned new names, new rules, a new way of thinking. Here it felt like home, and home it would be until God told me otherwise.

I'm very thankful for the this place and this family I had to wait for, pray for, hurt for and hope for.  I would never have it any other way, but isn't that the profound way of my Father.